The last couple of weeks I’ve had migraines attack in my sleep.  I wake up in enormous pain.  I don’t have any hints they are coming.  Ice packs and tons of ibuprofen and aspirin usually back the pain down, but they are becoming more frequent and painful.  Today I woke at 1am in some of the worst pain yet.  I remember getting ice and an 800mg ibuprofen and laying back down.  I didn’t get back to sleep and I somewhat remember the storm coming through.  Adam said it was pretty strong.  I remember Sadie trying to get into the bed and me trying to pet her and keep the ice pack underneath me.  I went back to sleep at some point after she had calmed down.  When I woke up, I felt like I had been in a fight.  My muscles going all down my neck and into my shoulders are sore.  I have an appointment at the clinic to talk to the doctor later.  Praise the Lord for benefits!

I hate sick days because I don’t know how to be sick.  I feel nothing but guilt and like I should be doing something.  When I get text and emails from work, it only heightens the anxiety and makes me feel more like I’m a bad person for being sick.  But I knew I couldn’t keep fighting these things with ice and ibuprofen.  It’d be really nice to know what the hell is going on.  I have a list of things to take with me to the doctor so he/she can help narrow it down.  Of those things, a couple are first time issues so I’m guessing it’s them.  Need the experts to narrow it down.

I tried watching The Bachelorette finale, but social media had already spoiled the outcome.  It’s a silly, shallow show.  I’d love to change it to actually be some sort of meaningful endeavor, but I guess that isn’t what America wants.  Besides, it just reminds me that almost anyone can find love.  And then the previews for Bachelor in Paradise just made me think that anyone I did think was decent is just a piece of crap.  Or, perhaps, beautiful and desperate with some serious self-esteem issues.  Sheesh.  People will do anything these days for a little bit of money and fame.  I challenge how happy it has made them.  Having trashed the show I just spent 8 or so weeks devoted to watching, I will just put it out there if Luke Pell wants to go out and grab dinner and a movie, I’ll clear my calendar. 😉  

Happy loving!