In my 20’s life felt like driving a car–I had goals and destinations and to get there with speed was what I aimed for. The greatest lesson in my 30’s is that life has become more like sailing an ocean. I have traveled, seen more, turned around a couple times, and veered off course more than I care to admit. 

Life isn’t what I thought it would look like; of all the pictures I had in my head, this was never it. And while that could be frustrating or painful, I’ve found the quicker I learn to accept that the Highway version I once had is replaced by the Sailing one the easier it is. I can’t change the past and it has led me here. But some days–like today–when I’m burnt and crying because….well because I’m a girl!!…I feel like maybe I have this adulting thing all wrong. 

But I realized it’s my journey and I chart the course with the help of God, my family and my friends. If I can shake the idea of how things were supposed to be, I think I will more clearly see everything is how it should be. I didn’t want my heart to get smashed into pieces, I didn’t want to face my parents health problems, I didn’t want to lose my old job and big paycheck, I didn’t want to deal with bugs and drug dealers at a thrift store, I didn’t want to get a chunk of my leg carved out….but that happened. And I survived it all. 

And just as it has done, I’m sure life will continue to surprise me. It’s the price we pay for getting to be here. And the good outweighs the bad things by so, so much. I now have a new career and new direction. I just have to keep telling myself to adjust the sails as needed. Sometimes that’s a few times in a day.