It’s far too perfect a morning to sit here and NOT write. It feels like fall in Mississippi (finally!). It’s 61 degrees and overcast. The limbs of the trees are doing a slow, casual dance as if shaking off the relentless heat we have experienced for months. They dance with glee. 

The last week was….well, it was fast and long all at once. Lots of work, Monday was there with the usual lists and boxes to check off. Next thing I knew it was Thursday and lists and boxes remained. That is both a wonderful and horrible feeling. Who enjoys what they do for a living so much that the days literally flip so fast it seems like a blur? I find that to be a wonderful blessing. I remember once upon a time that misery of watching the clock tick minute by minute and wanting to be out of the building. It’s a true blessing to wish you had more hours in the day because you are enjoying the time you spend working. 

The horrible feeling is the stress that comes with those boxes and lists and more adding to it. Stress and anxiety come and managing it is not my forte. So there I was Thursday evening, a mixture of joy and anxiety and decided to go sit and have myself a glass of wine in our upscale dining before heading to bed. Just a glass to enjoy something. 

Three hours, three glasses, one cocktail, and 4 different texts I should never have sent later I went to bed. Which meant Friday was kinda miserable. There is the alcohol hangover–easily cured with water and breakfast, neither did I wake up in time to procure–and then there’s the “what the hell did I send that text for” hangover. The second is far less easy to cure. In fact, I propose a game show in which my friends sit and watch me via hidden camera and win money based on my next move when I am drinking. They probably couldn’t handle it. They love me and would want to step in and put me to bed. God how I couldn’t survive this world without them. 

Today I realized my left and my right brains are at odds. The creative, romantic, hopeless optimist is not seeing what the data driven, analytic side sees. The world is literally coming at me from two opposing ends. I believe that’s where writers block comes in. And I think that’s an amazing thing. It’s an opportunity to really figure out what’s bothering me. Despite the hard work of having to face those drunk texts, it means I have some wrongs that I am not “over” that are probably bubbling below the surface needing me to bring my left brain in and figure it out. 

But the bottom line (Left Brain loves that term) is: I will never know why those guys used and hurt me and it’s time to free my right brain from the chains of feeling hurt. Why did I say those things drunk? Because I want answers. Well, dear A-type Brain, some things you need to let the other side handle. The side that knows they are hurt people just going around hurting people. And Lefty says, get out of their path. ASAP. Forget the texts (deleted their names and numbers for the record) and go shine. They are casting shadows and drowning out my beauty. And they are so not worth it!! 

One thing both sides agree on: it hurt around here recently with these mean people but it’s time to let it go. Just let. It. Go. There won’t be an answer. It’s a scientific theory, not a calculus problem with an identifiable answer. Time to dust myself off, get my nails done, and go to work. Cross those guys off the list because that is done. Now, time to work on more tangible matters. 

A day later, I found this: