March 8–A few times in my life I’ve had profound, life-changing thoughts.  Remember the one time I decided the key to my loving my body was to love it just the way it was at the time?  I was like 150+ pounds (carried well too).  That one thought, and the actions I took afterwards to back it up [those are going to sound silly but I would say, “I love my body just like this” every time I was dressing or getting out of the shower, I listened to “Love Your Body” by Louise Hay a million times until it sunk in, I read the book by Joyce Meyer “Look Great, Feel Great” twice, I started tracking my food with an app, etc etc etc], all were part of the change I made in my life.  And the beginning led to more motivation so I joined a weight loss challenge, used Herbalife products, and then kept it up until now I’m a size 0.  I literally have no size as my BFF pointed out! LOL. If I ever see 150 pounds again it will because of an illness or because (miraculously) I fall in love and get preggers like the rest of you people out there [how did you manage THAT?!].

And today, everything hit me.  I’m feeling overwhelmed.  Just totally lost adrift the sea of life.  I decided I needed to write an action plan.  There are about 10 ideas I have as to what path to take.  And I have no idea which way to go.  I want to do that which makes a difference, means something to me, but I need income.  My house is a friggin mess.  I have to get my resume together.  But what if I want to go back to school?  Deadlines, applications, loans to live off of, sheesh.  And beside me is dear, sweet Sadie –who needs expensive treatment in two weeks (and some food today).  And when you have ALL these thoughts going on at once, just a complete overload, it’s hard to sort through.  But I had an AHA moment as I put my hands in my face and asked Sadie, “Where do we even start?”  You have to start where you are, exactly as it is.  Just like with my weight, I have to take everything I have right now and LOVE IT.

How?  How do you love what looks like a mess? How I don’t yet know [hence why I write], but seems like first place is to embrace the mess.  Before I make a single step towards change, just accept everything the way it is.  Myself included.