Lately I’ve been mulling over confidence, authenticity, vulnerability, and gratitude.  These are areas I want to improve in my own life.  It seems to me these things are all connected.  I’ve spent brief moments conjuring the image of people I know (and some I don’t) who inspire me: self-starters, artists, authors, spiritual teachers, etc. I’ve spent lots of time thinking of these principles and how they apply to the many, many people I admire so much.  Today it struck me that these are the people subject to scrutiny by others.  They are the ones putting themselves out there!  And with it comes the inevitable gossip and slander.  Eminem raps about his experiences.   And–I guess I’m still on the Brene Brown kick–this quote from Teddy Roosevelt came to me, which I first came across in Dr. Brown’s books:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Suddenly, with a little bit of new insight, my own journey makes more sense to me.  It isn’t that your skin has to be tough to put yourself out there doing whatever it is you do; it’s that you have to realize those people putting you down are NOT in the arena with you. It’s like the serenity prayer with a spin: serenity to accept that some people will not change, courage to face the critics I need to hear, and wisdom to know the damn difference!  I take SO much personally lately.  Which is funny because how much of anyone else’s life is about me?  Well, there’s my mom, my dog, and my 2 closest friends I message multiple times a day.  Aside from that, I really do not play an active part in anyone’s life.  So maybe when I hear one tiny thing about me, I give it far more weight then it should hold.

So why do I do it?  It’s toxic.  It creates worry, sadness, and holds me back from the very thing I want to achieve (see first paragraph).  It stops me from doing the very things on earth I firmly believe I came to do–write, inspire, and spread the love.  I know, I’m nothing but a hippie (who is enamored with Eminem).  I’ve seen 3 or 4 instances of my acquaintances and friends being subject to hurtful things the last couple of days. And when the people I admire so much for the qualities they exhibit and the work they slave over get slammed, I kinda want to take it personally!  It isn’t, I know that, but I feel like cheering on the people in the arena!  I want to say, “I don’t care what they say, I think you’re doing awesome.”  And again, the heart of the matter, if people weren’t actually out there and DOING it, they’d get no attention.

I think my lesson from the Universe today is to immediately stop taking things personally.  I’m going to continue to cheer on the people who are in the arena and I’m going to put myself in the arena in more areas of my life that truly matter to me.  Now, my (very interrupted) lunch break is over and I got to finish this battle in the 8-5 arena!