My cousin and BFF, Amy, told me some time ago about the “ball of happiness.”  The way she explained it, no matter what, we are in control of our happiness.  It’s a ball you keep inside your heart and no one can touch your ball.  I think some visualization is necessary for this exercise of the soul.

First, you have to close your eyes to see your own Ball of Happiness.  For example, when I close my eye and I think “what does my ball of happiness look like?” I see that mine is like a giant, glittery moon with some purple added in it.  I thought of the brightest moon I’d ever seen (or seen a picture of), added some sparkle, and naturally added a touch of my favorite color.  It’s a moon because I think of it as having some sort of swirling fog going on—it’s a living organism that has motion.  Even though I can’t see inside it, I think about my vacations, my laughter, and my dog and I know my ball of happiness is always alive when I nourish it with these thoughts.  So inside my heart lives this beautiful, moon-ish ball and no one can get to it.  That’s an important element to maintaining happiness—not letting other people get to you.  You see, your ball of happiness is the core of your happiness.  From it radiates all the joy, thanksgiving, and creativity you experience and share.  Other people benefit from your ball—and maybe the people you love can get close enough to see it—but they must never have control over your ball.  “You have to protect your balls!” Amy says. 

Her metaphor, which I love visualizing and expanding on, is all about the essence that you create your own happiness.  People will try to steal your balls.  The bigger, brighter, and shinier your ball is the more people will try to take it.  Normally, this is NOT their intention.  For those who roll thug with the best balls, you may think there are happiness vampires who try to come along and steal it.  And in a way, they are.  There are creatures designed to try to come along, bond with you, get inside you, and take a piece of you with them—they’re called humans. Humans need a sense of purpose, belonging, and love.  When your ball emits it, it’s the human condition to want a piece of it.  All these people who rant about being used, abused, and think their energy is just being selfishly sucked away by those around them need to wake the fuck up!  [Yes, I dropped the F bomb!]  This very matter has ended friendships and relationships because people fail to see what other people need.  The very fact someone needs your brightness in their life—maybe their balls are small!?—is the greatest compliment on the planet.  And yet, some still complain about how other people come and use up so much of what they have.  Well, listen up, guard your balls.  Share of them what you can, but remember that you alone build and hold the ball.  If you let people in to eat your core, you’re gonna face the consequences of that.  But stop blaming a human for wanting to be around your soul.  It’s a basic NEED.

Your ball is created between you & the universe.  It’s your responsibility to protect and nourish it.  If you cannot do so, and your ball fluctuates in size and shape, that’s also between you and the universe.  If you give some away, then you must use the universe to fill it back up.  No other person or object can fill the needs of the heart.  There are things called emotions and prayers that build a strong ball and keep it safe.  And are you ready for the catch?  While you alone are responsible for your ball, your life is incomplete without meaningful engagement with others.  Your ball has to be exposed and it has to radiate so that it is felt by someone else.  It’s a tricky scenario and I see a lot of people ensnared by unhappiness simply because they’re comparing balls and not maintaining their own.  I can certainly relate.  I was on a break from maintaining my ball and a friend loaned me all the knowledge of her ball.  This was an epic fail on both parts.  I cannot be complete without my own ball, and she can’t give so much of herself that nothing is left at the core.

I’m gonna go play with my ball now.  Thank you, Amy for the gift of the Ball of Happiness analogy which I have had so much fun with lately!