***I am starting to write a book for my future daughter. I had a thought last night. It went something like, “how did I end up like this? I never want my kids to make this mistake.” Viola, the idea took its hold on me. This is rough draft stuff so critique, review, praise away. But be honest always 🙂 **

Dear daughter of mine, you aren’t even a twinkle in my eye but I feel like I owe you this book my sweet baby girl. You’ve been with me since birth. Quick biology lesson, women come equipped with all their eggs and slowly we lose them starting in our teens. Month by month. Birth control has fooled my body most of my life. In other words, most of my eggs are still down there. I think that’s how it works. I believe that helps make you extra special. Along with a stellar mom, you have survived the process of natural selection which means you’re awesome. You’re also awesome just because you arrived.

Some might say your mom is a hot mess. Those people must have all their shit together. Lesson 1. Never gonna make everyone happy, don’t waste time trying, and NO ONE has their shit together. Oprah does, but it comes at a high price and priorities are different when you run the free world. If you interact with other humans-& I encourage you to do that-things get messy.

Mom is 34 now. That’s old in woman years. Somehow I thought you’d be here by now. Lesson 2. Don’t fight the Universe/God/Spirit; the more you fight it the harder it is to get on track. This is a new-ish lesson for mom. Hopefully by explaining in detail later in this book you can avoid some of the same regrets. While they are very few, they exist. I did the best I could with what I had at the time. However, at 34, that best is a lot better and what I have are lessons learned the hard way.

Not to say by reading about what I know I can spare you anything. You have to master the game and live your own life. However, I think I can guide you through some things less sloppily now and hopefully increase your happiness. And that brings us to Lesson 3. Be happy. Do what makes YOU happy. Find your passions and follow them. I don’t want you to have lots of money, fame, or an entourage. I want you to look up at the birds and down at the flowers and realize that’s what it’s all about. If your passion brings success-however you end up defining it-then YAY! Mommy likes tshirts, Chucks, & traveling so you can give me a big thank you with those kind of things.

Finally, let me express to you my undying love. You’ve been on my mind since I first held a baby doll. Not every day and sometimes not every year but in a way, always. I don’t care if you are gay, of mixed race 😉 or whatever special quirks make you feel different. In fact, I promise to love that about you. Mom is a basket of quirk so we’ll have a shit ton of fun. That’s one promise. We will spend a lot of time together at museums, listen to all kinds of music, read a million books, see a lot of different places, go on bike rides and hiking trails, and (only for you) we’ll visit the sea.

Should my physical body leave you earlier than I have planned, I will still be there sweetie as you do all of those things. You’ve been with me always. That will never change. I don’t want you to be angry or fight God. It is as it was meant to be. Everything big and small happens. It just happens, my love. There is nothing you can do but accept that. And once you do, a lot of peace can be found. And when you have peace, you are closest to God and wonderful things unfold in your life. Accept, embrace, and enjoy this life.