It’s a hot mess not being a hot mess. And what I mean by that is when you have most of your shit together then you find the small things that aren’t quite the way you want them and you nitpick them. To death. So pretty much I have it great and I’m not happy. Well, I’m not unhappy I’m just not content. I think I’ve suddenly stalled in life. It’s a little plateau of life! Oh, I suppose like a rest stop. You see, I’ve been climbing up and up and now I suddenly don’t feel the need to climb any more. I have dreams that I want to see to fruition. I have goals that I still aim to achieve. I have things to do I haven’t done. It’s not like I’m finished, I’m just not real sure what direction to take from here. It’s time to sit down and enjoy the damn view anyway.

Maybe it’s time to evaluate the best route for phase 2. Or is this 3? Possibly even like phase 10, I dunno. I think it’s time to sit and have a drink. I’m going to quit worrying and overthinking because it’s making me miserable. If ya want me, I’m right here on this patch of grass with a bottle of wine. I’m not disconnected from the world, I’m just not engaging in any of the bullshit. There’s nothing left to grab that’s worth it. I have a job that challenges me and provides everything I need and then some. I have a hobby that has turned into a gig and hopefully it can evolve from here when I set my mind down to it. I’ve many, many people who love me and even the ones who don’t love me make the scenery entertaining. It’s one thing to take yourself too seriously, but completely wasteful to take anyone that serious. Either they are cool or not. It doesn’t take a lot of time to figure that shit out. And once you figure it out, keep it in mind. These other people are on their own journey and contorting that any way they want it. It’s really not my business how sucky you might be; that’s between you and your destination. Or lack thereof. Be as ugly and unhappy on that trip as you desire.

At first, I thought I’d fallen down. But then I realized I was just running around going nowhere; because of the plateau see? It was more of a landing and not a fall. I had to stop looking up and take it all in to understand it was time to sit and relax. There are people walking by that I very much want to grab and ask them to please sit with me. Sit with me forever! But you can’t take someone off their path. That hurts at times. In fact, I’m like “Look we have sunny skies and soft grass and puppies! Stay here!” But some people are busy and don’t want those things. I was there once. Now, as Little Wayne said, “Money outweighing problems.” I look back and realize it wasn’t always the case. Some of the road has been problems outweighing the money and that sucks. It’d be a shame to waste the time not being happy now that the road is smooth. As much as I’d like you to come sit with me and have a picnic, if you want to go through the drive thru then my picnic will never be appealing. And if it’s not a picnic you want, by all means keep walking.

I’m sure I’ll get a second wind and pick myself and start back at something. I’m not known for my restful nature of idleness. Perhaps a vacation. Maybe my writing will catch the eye of someone who can broaden the audience. Although, does the world need an analogy such as this portrayed on screen or in hardback? LOL I think we’re better off just a speck of dust on the interwebs. If ya wanna sit and have a drink and relax, hit me up. If not, peace be with you.