I recently was confronted with “Sacred Contracts” by Caroline Myss and it changed my perspective on some things. It says we all make a contract in heaven –on some spiritual realm which I will call heaven to simplify the matter. Our contracts are things like teaching or promoting peace generosity or her example is Helen Keller teaching no boundaries. It’s our purpose so to speak. And we make that contract with other spirits. Such as Helen Keller’s parents. They were part of the contract well before they descended to earth.

Of course we cannot remember our contract and there are some three elements she mentions. My point is that I have tried figuring out my contract. I think it has to do with unconditional love. I think my purpose is to promote unconditional love. Now, what this means is that in order to do that I must encounter or create a lot of conditional love first. She points out if it were easy then we’d be arrogant and good for nothing. And EVERYone we encounter is a contract we made to teach us well before we came here.

I can see that. It is a completely different angle than anything I’ve ever taken to examine my life. And believe me, her lectures and books are much deeper than my summary. But back to conditional love. If it isn’t the purpose of my contracts then it would be a lesson well learned.

I’m really, really bad at projecting my definition and view onto people. And I had a need to be right for a long time. I’m learning that if no harm is done by someone being wrong, then by all means I just let them carry on. And sometimes if they wanna be insistent they’re right then I step back then too and watch them struggle so that they can learn themselves.

It’s all kinda humbling to sit and examine how many ways I love with conditions. Which I have done for several days. It means I am excluding real love–an unconditional love returning itself to me. And it makes me see the past as a giant staircase to enlightenment on my path for unconditional love. Every contract, person, experience (choose the word that you relate to the most) has been a step in directing me. When you turn to your past and look at it like that, it’s really easy to forgive and move on. With every step my conditions release and my worth builds. Not net worth, bitches. Soul worth.

There is still a very long way to go. I have found myself biting my lip or hitting the delete key more than ever before because I am changing my approach. Love in every single relationship should be unconditional. Doesn’t mean my coworkers and I can fail at our jobs or be careless, it means I love their soul no matter what just as much if not more when we screw it up. For me it means my way of projecting the way someone should live on them ends. Completely.

This experiment (if you wanna call it that) has taught me how much of my past was produced out of fear or lack of self esteem. I got to question myself now: am I doing this out of fear or love? Iyanla Vanzant says all things are either done from fear or love. It is quite fearful to imagine loving someone so much we just let them be 100000% themselves with nothing in return. I don’t think I will be the guru of unconditional love when the journey is over. No, that’s comical actually. But we touch hundreds of lives in our times here. And maybe, just maybe, a soul is out there to come with a contract that says for the next 50 years I will help you fulfill part of that purpose.

Happy Valentines Day to the souls I know and who are contractually bound to my spirit…& to that soul I still hold out for who will be my biggest teacher.