I’ve got to make this quick.  I’m on my (rare) lunch break.  It’s purge time I guess.  Not blogging often enough causes me inner anxiety.  I apologize for littering the virtual universe with my problems (or lack thereof) but it’s soothing.  And it’s optional for you to even read this.

I’ve had two aha moments in the last 24 hours.  The first thought struck me last night.  I was doing that thing where I try to go to sleep and my brain was flooded with worries, remembering conversations, and even went to the always detrimental “what if things had been different” stage.  I suddenly put the brakes on those thoughts.  It hit me–my own thoughts were keeping me unhappy.  These things that happen to us and with our permission sometimes leave wounds.  But that’s it.  Wounds.  Not diseases.  In other words, no matter what it is yes it hurt, yes it took time to heal, yes you had to modify life to learn to live with the pain, but it heals.  And yes, there’s a scar.  Some scars are bigger than others but it heals eventually.  The only person who take your wounds and make them diseases are you and you do it with your thoughts.  That relationship, that job, that person, that love, that opportunity–whatever nags at you–is OVER.  By keeping the thoughts alive I was turning my wounds into a disease and giving it the life it needed to hurt me.  Time to bury the past and move on.

The second thought occurred as I exited the bathroom earlier.  I looked in the mirror and thought, “Wow, that is one nice [behind].”  And it hit me once again that until I love the skin I’m in (thanks, Dove) you will not take care of it and transform it.  Think about it–we put time and energy and nurture into things we love, not things that irritate us or make us sad and bring us to a lowly state.  If I keep thinking negatively about my body, it will not get the attention and care from me it deserves because honestly I’d rather just not think about it.  And then I realized, there are a few things to love about it.  My waistline isn’t one of them but girls with waistlines like I want have to pay to get the natural bust and ass I got!!  I just need to exercise and it will be awesomeness.  I have been blessed with an hour glass.  A little love and attention to it would only be right.  So, I’m starting HerbaLife this month and I will keep in mind I’m doing it for the things I LOVE and not the things I HATE.

Lesser matters, I cannot for the life of me decide if I want to commit to a Kindle Fire or not!!!  Advice appreciated.  The iPad was awesome but it gave me a serious headache when I read on it.  The Kindle cut the headache out but the basic Kindle is really blah and you can’t change the brightness setting at all.  I should have gotten the paperwhite Kindle and maybe I would be happy.

I am loving being free from all commitments except work these days.  I waited months for the craziness to stop so I could enjoy this time and catch up on work.  I spent my New Years working well into the early morning hours and all the next day.  It was awesome.  Now, I guess I better clock back in so I can get more of the weight off my shoulders.