So, this weekend I helped my bride-to-be friend by carrying her water, phone, make-up bag, & fanning her during the bridal picture shoot.  During the shoot, I learned of these little papers with powder on them that absorb sweat/oil and powder your face at the same time!  It’s rice paper and apparently I’ve been needing these for years.  The Mississippi humidity is fatal for my makeup.  And I feel so gross sweating!  Ladies, if you too were not aware that this awesome little beauty helper was available run like I did to Sally Beauty and grab some.  I got both the rice paper & powder for less than $10.  There should be a manual with a list of things that all women need to know.  Rice papers need to be on the list.

Aside from that, the next big thing was PartyFest.  I thought it went really well.  I got there early-ish, like 6pm, and so I got to see a chunk of the bands.  And then I just saw chunks.  Unfortunately, I didn’t end the night so well.  Ok, that’s a lie.  Actually, the night ended spectacularly.  And that just struck me right now as I wrote.  The fact is someone showed me they cared by taking care of me.  Unexpectedly.  And I must say, as someone who feels responsible for WAY more than I can handle at my job, it’s really good to know that when a desperate situation occurs I have someone who I can trust to look out for me.   It was a very embarrassing moment for me–I think part of the vomit was humiliation at one point.  I just looked at his shoes because I was too horrified that he had to see me like that.  I couldn’t dare meet his eyes.  But now I realize there’s no greater test than when you’re weak how someone will treat you.  If they make the situation worse, you’re with the wrong person.  If you manage to have some pride left over afterwards–and you even blog about how awesome a caretaker they were–then you should consider that someone to keep around.

Trust is hard for me.  I could give a million excuses but the bottom line is that you can’t hold the people in your present hostage by the people and things done in your past.  And my present is amazing and I’m glad it took so long (over a year!) for me to start to open up.  I’m glad because I got to know him in small bits & pieces.  And it feels natural, not rushed.  I’ve heard love is friendship caught on fire.  Maybe.  I’m not the expert.  I DO know that you can’t have very much love–the kind that lasts anyway–without a solid friendship.  And one thing that really grabs me is that this person is unnaturally trustworthy.  Once it hit me that I was dating one of the most honest and trustworthy individuals on the planet, my “trust issues” evaporated.  In fact, it made me want to open up and, looking back, I slowly started drifting from my usual jokes and puns to things that resemble feelings [yes, people, I have those].

I hadn’t necessarily made the connection that I’d managed all this until I saw a photo today.  Someone took it Saturday, you know, before the party train crashed.  And either I didn’t know the pic was being taken or I was not counting to three as quickly as the photographer because basically the pic comes out with him looking at the camera and me unabashedly giving THE BIGGEST puppy dog stare one can imagine at him.  Everything I have felt or thought is captured in that instant.  Like, it took me for a spin because honestly I didn’t know I COULD give that look.  I sure as heck never planned on being that obvious.  You would have to give me the best director in the world to pry that look out again.  I think.  I dunno.  Now I kinda wonder if I look like that all the time?!  Geez, I thought I was so cool.  People think they got game? Ha. Welcome to the game baby, I’m the coach!  Now, I think I need to resign.  Anyway, that pic made me aware that not only is there something there, I haven’t hid it nearly as well as I’d thought.  I might puke again just from embarrassment… And NO I’m not posting it!